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Be good mother or being a good father or being a bad mother or a bad father is an idea of assessment and judgment that we always have going around in our head. And, since we do not have a manual on how to be the best parents, we are practicing with the Trial-Error or Trial-Success methods. But what is it to be a good or a bad father or mother? And the most important, Is anything fair to be a good mother?
When we face the maternity Sometimes we repeat patterns of actions and behaviors that our parents already used with us. Or we just do the opposite of what our parents did, because it doesn't seem like the best method to use with your children.
The point is, in one way or another, you are not being the mother or father that we all naturally carry inside. We are not trusting our intuition or know how to do. And finally, what we do is acquire a strategy, to feel well valued.
And worst of all, is that we are capable of acquiring any strategy to obtain a good score, without realizing that sometimes, we exceed certain lines and limits, which as women or men we should not allow ourselves.
These strategies, the only thing they are looking for, under the reverie of the valuation of being good parents, is to feel loved by our children, and therefore, see how far we can go ...
On this occasion, allow me to speak of the mother, as a great innocent strategist in this way of feeling. What does a woman who is a mother often do to feel valued for their children? A lot of phrases or strategies are repeated like the ones that I am going to explain to you below:
- I'm in charge of doing everything, so that our family (partner and children, basically) make the comment that "I am a good mother."
- I prefer to stop doing my things, to do the things of others.
- I am capable of admitting disrespect, so as not to anger anyone or conflict at home.
- I accept everything, because that is how my mother taught me to be a good mother.
- I am educated and I repress my needs or feelings, so as not to bother.
- I "have to control everything", that's why I am the organizer and coordinator of all the housework.
- I do not want to set limits, so that my children appreciate my affection.
- I please everyone, in order to be the best mother.
- I prefer to keep quiet, and thus avoid conflicts.
- I am the solution to all problems, so that they do not have a bad time.
- I cook for them, I take care of them, I order their room, so that they can dedicate themselves to their things.
- I am satisfied with the case that they want to make me.
- I am always ready to solve everything that happens at home related to school materials, work, the car, toys or clothes.
- I try to say Yes to everything, so they don't get angry or upset.
- I buy them things so that they feel my affection.
- I always appear to be fine, so they don't suffer for me.
To what extent do we leave our own love in the hands of others in order to feel loved ...? Check these strategies / phrases and write down others that may occur to you or that are happening within you or in the home environment. And better if you do it as a couple or family, because many of these strategies we are not capable of evaluating them without the help of someone.
And please, ask for help if you recognize yourself in more than three, because what is happening has nothing to do with being good mother but with feeling loved, and that is something you have to solve first, in order to later achieve the goal of the good mother.
You can read more articles similar to Not everything goes to be a good mother. What you must not do, in the category of Relationship on site.