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When a child is given up for adoption, it always goes through a process of coupling and a first stage in which the bond with its new parents must be strengthened. This stage is not the same in all children nor will it last the same since it depends on the age of your child, the conditions in which the adoption has taken place and the previous history of both the child and yours as mother or father.
But what we do know is that for the incorporation to school to be successful, your child must have a stable and secure affective bond with his new family, that is why it should not matter to you that the incorporation to school is delayed as long as convenient by taking it into the background. Which is the reason?
Think that your son comes from a breakup, an abandonment, a change that he does not understand many things about. All of this generates insecurity. He begins to trust you, you are his reference figure, and suddenly you leave him at school for 5 hours alone, with people he does not know. For a child 5 hours is a long time and they may not understand what they are doing in that place either.
All these insecurities will block his ability to learn because he will be scared and thinking more about how to survive, than about what they are going to try to teach him. Prevent your child from experiencing schooling as a new dropout working on a progressive incorporation once the child is clear that you will always come back to look for him to take him home and that his teacher and the center staff are people you trust.
Another very important element with regard to schooling is that the child enters the academic year that corresponds to him / her by abilities and not just by chronological age. A child who is given up for adoption will almost certainly present some type of maturational delay compared to his peers because the feeding and the first care, we mean from the pregnancy itself, have not been adequate. If these first cares and the first stimulation have not been correct, your child will not have a good base to follow the classes and the contents that are being taught.
Sometimes learning problems arise whose cause you do not know and which is easy to disguise or confuse with lack of attention, interest or effort, which will generate a lot of frustration in the parents and in the child himself who will reject everything related with the school.
It is important talk to the school and teachers (without giving many details) of the peculiar situation of your son so that they take it into account because many times they do not know how to act. An adopted child usually responds very positively to the recognition of his efforts and achievements, but shows great impassivity (external rather than internal) to punishment.
Their emotional needs that have been so neglected in the first stage make the affective bond established with the tutor is key for the child to be interested in following the classes and learning since their low self-esteem makes them afraid to face the new challenges for fear that they will become new failures.
You can read more articles similar to The role of the school for the adopted child, in the On-site Adoption category.